Compassion

Compassion.  Karuna (compassionate action in sanskrit) is something that has been circling my thoughts lately.  What does compassion mean…really?

And I found understanding of my inner most self from my lack of compassion over the past month.  I have been absorbed, obsessed, stressed, lots of other words that end in “-ed”.  And in that absorption with a new life path and a career change and trying to pay the bills in time of economic downturn, I had lost a large chunk of my compassion for others.  I was self-absorbed, and not in the best way.

And I find that through teaching yoga I am able to figure out what I need to work on and I sequence a class that touches upon the chakra or emotion that needs tending.  This past week it was my heart – it had been closed and unfeeling for a little while during that period of self-absorption and it needed to re-open.  Anahata (heart chakra), the center of the chest, is a sacred place.  It is where we feel our emotions; it is a passionate place.  And it got me thinking about the word passion, which is found in the word compassion.  Coincidence?  Only if you believe in coincidences. 

Without passion how can we show compassion?  I think we often fall into the trap of misplacing our passion levels.  We can be passionate about things, yes.  But I do believe that most of our passion can fall into the compassion, and we would all be better for it.  I know I would be (which is why I’m working on it now). 

Let’s try to re-examine ourselves, best to do in a time of economic crisis or any crisis for that matter.  We truly learn who we are – and I know I am compassionate and I have it in me to be compassionate at all times.  Let’s try to find our compassion for all – and remember it daily in order to open our hearts and let the world feel beautiful.

Love

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” ~The Dalai Lama

 
Usually I write a word of the day when I mess something up – and then I find a word in which my mistakes could have been prevented if I had just tapped into the truth in that one word.  Through my learning, I tell my stories to you all so that you may learn from me.  And hope that you will share with me a word that you have learned from.  I enjoy the process, because each time I learn something new I am able to add it to a bank of words that I live my life by (at least I try my best).
 
Today’s word, love, did not come from a mistake I made.  Although I’m sure at times in my life I could have used more love and compassion, and less ignorance.  Today was the one of the first days of my new ritual – reading an inspiring quote from the Dalai Lama (or whomever else) in the morning before I start my day.  Today I read a few, but I picked one that resonated within my being.
 
Love and compassion.  I strive to be filled with love for all whom I meet, and it sometimes has been challenging.  I believe we all strive to spread our love to others, and it can be challenging because that love has the tendency to become thinned over many, as opposed to thickly blanketed.  And the question I ask is – why does our love have limitations?  Why do we allow our love to have limitations?
 
I have read literature attesting to this thinned love web that touches so many people from one – and I believe that we can be a blanket of love for all.  I believe that our love can extend to the farthest corners of the world, as thick as it is for those around us.  I believe that love is limitless – a wonderous phenomenon in which compassion and joy tag along.  It’s intangible – it is emotional and spiritual.  If all of our material possessions dissipated – love would remain.  Let’s love one another and feel a sense of compassion for all.  We are all equal and all share in the world’s growth.  Love is all you need.
 
I love each and every one of you!

Hope

I had a long meditation this morning  – I needed it.  I hadn’t really sat with myself for a while, and I needed to feel what was in my heart again.  And I have woken up from my nightmare.  Here is what I discovered:

There are dreams, there are wishes, and there is reality.  Why can’t dreams and wishes be one in the same with reality?  Before, I was skeptic about believing this was so.  I had started to lose faith in myself and in the country in which I am living.  The country seemed to be in a downward spiral, my life seemed to be in a downward spiral.  My relationships seemed to be in a downward spiral – I seemed to be the poison fueling the downward spiral.

This word – “seemed” – it says what it is.  It “seemed” to be.  It is all about perception – how do I see the world?  How do I see myself?  Who am I?  Who do I want to be?

And I will be brutally honest with you and myself because I need to be – I saw the world through eyes of a cynic and a negative person.  I don’t mean for a day – I mean weeks.  It hurt myself, my relationship with my significant other, and most importantly it hurt my dreams.  I allowed my negativity to infiltrate my life and take over and destroy my dreams.  And my body has literally been rejecting my own self – I had had a consistent 3-day headache.  I couldn’t shake it until last night.  Last week I was sick physically, but I have been sick mentally for longer.  I have been sick because I didn’t listen to Don Miguel Ruiz or Eckhart Tolle or Neale Donald Walsch, or any of the wonderful authors who had in the past inspired me.  I listened to my mind and let it control me – I made up a story as Don Miguel Ruiz would tell me, and I believed the lies of that story to be true.  And it was pointed out to me time and time again by someone close to me and I didn’t want to believe it and I wanted to keep on going the way I was because I was comfortable believing my lies.  Don’t believe the lies in your mind – your mind will try to trick you and lie to you about how things are “supposed” to be.  We have been conditioned since birth to judge, be skeptic of, be negative toward ourselves, and to believe that trust should not be given freely, but must be earned through tasks. 

And it has cost me greatly in my relationship with myself.  Because if I could not trust myself, how could I trust others?  I had lost my trust and my faith in myself.  I had no courage, I had no faith, I had no hope.  Nothing.  I’m working a job where I am not getting paid as much as I used to, and I let it steal my peace and bring me down to a place where I believed that my value was my paycheck.  I started to become distrustful of those around me – skeptic of the words they spoke and of the truth that was right in front of me.  Right in front of me!  How could I miss it?!

Last night I had an argument with someone special – I exploded.  I was not in a stable place.  I was not myself – nor the person whom I wish so to be.
I am kind, compassionate, spiritual, and learned.  I have a thirst to learn as much as I can and the endurance to go after what I want in my life.  And yet, last night I put all of those things aside and let myself slip into a different costume – one that was green with envy of what others have and jealous of something that wasn’t there.  And I let my mind trick me.  I was a beast.  Wretched and unfair.

Long story – yes?  Why do I write to you about my failure?  Because it is not failure if I can learn something from it and grow, and realize that I possess the power and the ability to be myself in every moment and to know who I truly am.  And it’s not a failure if I can teach all of you and spread to all of you what I have learned from my own doing.

I watched the next President, Obama speak last night.  And throughout his speech, he was captivating.   He spoke of hope – of dreams.  And I realized I was being so selfish last night because I became a skeptic during the day.  I allowed myself to disbelieve in everything that I had believed in.  And after watching his captivating speech I had no words that could express the feelings inside me that I had when I realized that he has hope.  And even moreso when I realized that I had hope.  I have hope.

I have hope for this nation – that we will be in a better place where people are kind and compassionate and can lead by example.  I have hope and the knowledge that I will be a wonderful yoga teacher with the ability to touch other people’s lives in a positive way.  And I have the hope that even though for the past month even I have been in that “seemingly” downward catapault, that I can pull myself out of it and regain the strength that I know is inside me.

This nation will regain the strength that I know is inside of it – through the people that it holds.  I believe that we are all of great power, and I have hope.  I have hope.  I’m so happy to know that I have hope.

Encourage Yourself

Sunday I was definitely feeling it, hearing it, experiencing all of it.  That little voice in my head that said to me “hmm…this is going to be tough.  Good luck with that!”  and that little voice snickered with omniscient undertones and my heart sank a little.  And as all of the weight of my own world was being pushed onto my shoulders and my entire body was enveloped in fear, my heart sank even further.  “You’re only 22, what makes you different from all the others?  What makes you believe that you will be able to achieve what you want and in a timely manner?”

UGH. That’s the thought that punched me in my core and knocked out the hope.  What do I know about how to run a business?

And then as all of this information I had learned about how to get myself out there started to sink in, I felt even worse about myself.   I started to feel useless, incapable, overwhelmed.

What am I even talking about? – you must be wondering right at this moment.  I’m talking about the expectations we have for ourselves and how that can turn our minds into mush.

I’m talking about how we put ourselves into a bubble of self pity instead of self exploration and discovery.  In the times when we are most challenged is when our true ambition and drive will either step up, or absolutely flop.  And so instead of wallowing in my own personal pity hole, I began to encourage myself.  I realized I needed my own support to sustain my drive to thrive.  Encouragement and the belief in myself once again gave me that “can-do” attitude.  And included in that encouragement was the notion that if I fail – I will pick myself up and do it again and again in different ways and try every possible scenario.  I’m not one to stand in the sidelines and wish I was in the game.  I want to take a risk!  Live dangerously!  Eat poprocks and simultaneously drink soda!! (well, maybe not that extreme…)

I was looking at all of this from an angle that wasn’t serving me – negativity.  So how could I look at this so that I feel empowered and capable?  The answer was clear and simple.  I put myself into this life change and career change for a reason – to dedicate my life to servitude of others.  To help them achieve what they want to achieve and to grow myself personally so that I can bring light and love to others.

And once I took myself out of negative thought and into the place where my essence, my soul could feel that powerful vision of bringing those things to other people, I felt motivated.

Encourage yourself.  Be your own personal cheerleader and tell yourself that “yes, I am powerful and wonderful and will have an impact on the world!”

Homework: I’d like you to identify a negative thought.  Any negative thought that passes through your mind.  Whether it be while looking into a mirror, eating a meal, or just resting.  Identify that thought and alter it.  Make it into a positive thought.  And if you can do that for one thought, know that you have the power for all of your thoughts.

Awaken

Today the word is Awaken.  Last night I had a terrible dream – all of the people in my life and in other’s lives whom I had never met were not the same.  They were horrible creatures that terrorized others in the pursuit of momentary fulfillment for their basic needs (basically – they killed people and at them).  Aesthetically terrifying, causing me to sweat in my bed and awaken at 4 AM with my heart beating as though I had just finished the NYC marathon.  (ok, maybe not that hard – if it were beating that hard I probably would have woken up a million pounds lighter).  Regardless, this dream frightened me so that I had to put on a movie to get my mind off of it – so I wiped the tears from my eyes and put on Kill Bill to get me through to sunlight.

Reflecting back to last night – I wondered…I haven’t watched a scar movie in a really long time…I wasn’t thinking about anything horrible.  But yesterday I had read some political news, economic news…all speaking of the turmoil that our nation is in.  And today I woke up (passively through dreamland).  I realized the infected people in my dream were those who either (a) didn’t want to use their vote for a new nation, or (b) were against change and trying something new.

I do not tell you who to vote for – not my job.  What I will say is my dream awakened me to something – dreams are so important and although I love dream interpretation books I feel as though we are all different and our dreams coincide with our lives – which are all unique.  So my dream, which I interpret to be one of vast upheaval in our country might be different than your interpretation of a similar dream you have.  The importance is that we can awaken from our dreams knowing that they are dreams, but have the awareness to recognize where those themes are coming from.

Forgiveness

Through forgiveness, we will find peace.  Everyone has a past – but it has passed.  You can retrace the steps, but you cannot alter them.  The ones that you chose, or the ones that others chose for themselves.  To forgive everyone in your past (including yourself), and to observe and act upon forgiveness in the now can renew your life.

I am not always a forgiving person.  Especially to myself.  And I need to realize that I am allowed to forgive myself, and allowed to forgive others as well.  I’ve done some things in my so called ‘past’ (note the past is done – it no longer truly exists) that I am not particularly proud of (although a lot of them make for funny/interesting stories now that they are over and I’m in a different place).  And i woke up this morning, with such a clear mind because for a long time now (especially over the last couple of months) I was unable to forgive myself and I was judging myself and trying to justify my actions so that I could just get through to tomorrow.  To live with it in my head.  And I realize writing this, and this morning, that there is no need to justify.  Things are as they are, they were what they were.  And I cannot change my past actions, but I can learn from them, and through forgiving myself I will find clarity and peace – and most of all the love relationship I have with my own self will strengthen.

Forgiveness for me didn’t happen overnight.  I have been thinking about this and reflecting upon it for some time now.  And today I finally realized what I needed to do and so I sat in stillness for a while on my yoga mat and meditated the word “forgiveness” in my mind’s eye – and after my meditation on forgiveness I moved to medidate on Shanti (which means Peace).  Forgiveness creates peace.

And so I have decided that the most important thing about forgiveness today – is not only to forgive others and be the woman I want to be – but also that I am wonderful and I can forgive myself, for the yesterday and for this moment.  And I can forgive others.

I’m assigning a bit of homework.  Please feel free to try it out.  Play with it – experiment with it.
Find a quiet space (it may just be a quiet space inside yourself, not necessarily in a quiet room).  Sit in a comfortable position (preferably on the floor) with your back long and straight and your head proud and chin parallel to the floor.  Bring your palms together and raise them upward so that your thumb is touching your mind’s eye (slightly above and between your eyebrows).  On the inhale silently repeat to yourself “I forgive me”, and on the exhale “I forgive others”.

Believe

I was struggling last week and maybe even the week before with my life – I was unhappy with my situation at my job.  It’s not the best job in the world and it’s often a very negative environment.  And I was letting it steal my peace and letting the negativity from the environment fill me up.  And I wasn’t acknowledging the fact that this negative environment is a wonderful learning tool.  (Granted, I’m applying for other jobs, but I will keep this one in case nothing else comes up).  And why was that?  Because I began to doubt what I was manifesting.

Here were my thoughts: It’s hard enough to live in a good area and make the bills with a job that pays steadily.
I am in a yoga teacher training program and when i graudate I am going to quit my job.  And this was getting to me – how would I pay the rent?  How would I survive?  How would I be able to have all the things i want in my life?

And then it suddenly clicked – I, I, I.  Me, me, me.  What is this?

I felt selfish yesterday when these realizations occurred.  And I had to delve – what made me choose yoga above all else?  I knew it would be a struggle, something that would take time to unfold and develop.  It’s about the journey. 
I chose yoga because it enables me to help others find a path to their peace.  It’s not about me, although my practice will benefit from a teacher training program.  It’s about others.  Service to others.

This is where belief comes in – I had lost some of the belief in myself because I had let my thoughts infiltrate my feelings.  These thoughts were driving me insane!  I kicked them out – “vacate immediately” is what those thoughts were told.  And I realized what I needed to feel was belief.  Belief in myself and the belief in other people.  Belief that the world is a beautiful place if I let it be.  Belief that God, creator, Mother, whomever so you choose to believe in, love me and would never let harm come my way.

I wanted to share this story with you today because I want you to believe in yourself and others.  Believe that everything that happens in this world holds a wonderful lesson for us – a lesson we may not necessarily enjoy learning, but there is always a lesson.

Homework: Close your eyes at some point today, take three deep breaths from your belly (count to 7 on the inhalation, and 11 on the inhalation at a steady place).  And let your thoughts fade away – keep a blank mind.  And what I invite you to do is try to feel the belief in yourself – but not necessarily through your thoughts.  Feel the belief in your physical body, in the spiritual body, and ignore anything the mind says to you otherwise.  Silence the mind, and feel the belief.

Ego

So I have this nasty habit of letting my ego get the best of me – and I’m aware of it sometimes and it’s easy to let go.  And then other times I’m not so aware of it.  So I get to a point where I’m all about my ego and then someone reminds me gently to let it go, and WHAM! then I cannot let it go.  It’s all really because I don’t want to let it go after someone says that – and why do I get that feeling?  Ego.  That one little statement has pushed me further into the stubborn, egotistical state that I originally found myself in.  And I’m working on letting go of that.

So what am I supposed to do about it?  I’m writing to you today because I realize I can go there, we all can go there.  It’s not the best place in the world to be.  It can make us stubborn, selfish, among a whole list of other unfriendly words that does not help shape us into the people we want to be – who we want to become.  I had lost my awareness for a while – and reflection to the past allows me to see that losing my awareness pushed me into more of my ego than ever before.  I would be full of my “ego” and unable to get myself out.

So here’s what I will do about it: bring the awareness back to every moment in my life – know what I am feeling, why I am feeling it, and most importantly how I am reacting to my own feelings.  How am I letting myself reach to what others say/do to me?  To what I say/do to myself?  Yes, this coincides with not letting other people steal your peace – but what’s important about that is not letting ourselves steal our own peace.  We can get to a place of ego, and in turn we steal our own peace by not letting ourselves be true to us.

I know this was lengthy, but I believe it is so important, and it’s a trap I can fall into frequently if I don’t watch myself.  Really, I want to leave you with a thought, and maybe some homework.

The thought I want to leave you with: Find your peace.  When you get into your place of ego and become that person you don’t want to be, recognize it, release it, and return to your peace.

The homework I want to leave you with: Be aware of yourself, in every moment you live.  Know when you can easily get to that place of ego and can’t let others’ words infiltrate – know when you are only hearing yourself because you don’t want to hear others.  Next time, if at all, you find yourself in a place like that, awareness is key to letting it all go.

Peace

Peace.  It even sounds beautiful when spoken aloud.  I was in yoga the other day  (when am I not in yoga?) and I had actually taken this particular teacher for the fourth time in a row that week.  And she consistently said something at the end of her classes “don’t let anyone steal your peace”.  And it finally sank in.

Don’t let anyone steal your peace.  What does that even mean anyway?  What is peace?

And then I got to thinking.  Well, peace can be a lot of things.  A compilation of things too.  3 examples:
-world peace and unity
-peace between people
-the peace within yourself
Peace within ourselves can be fragile at times, and so strong at other times.  Don’t let anyone steal your peace, to me, means that no matter how strong or lacking at any given point in time your inner peace is, don’t let anyone take it away from you.  It means not to let those who would use hurtful words or hurtful physical expression to steal what is so rightfully yours.

And the phrase resonates with me – and I have decided to remain strong and resilient against anything that might occur.  And sometimes I remind myself “don’t let anyone steal your peace, Sabrina” and it’s so much easier to breathe in those moments that are trying or difficult.

So my words for you today are important – do not let anyone steal your peace.  It is yours, rightfully yours, and you are the master of your own inner self.  Words that other use to cause harm are just words – and only you, yourself know what stands true for you.  Be at peace today, and everyday.

I invite you today to join me in finding peace in every moment – no matter what may occur today, no matter what may be said to you, or done to you - nobody can take your peace from you unless you allow them to.  Find the strength within yourself to be at peace and to hold on to your serenity.  Sometimes, we falter like I did last week, but if we consistently remind ourselves that we are all the keepers of ourselves, it makes the journey a little easier.

Positivity

I like to be reminded sometimes that with all of the things that we believe to be negative going on in our lives there is still positivity somewhere in it all.  Even though we may not see it – or even want to see it at times it is still there.  We can push it away and choose to be negative, or we can step outside of ourselves and look at it all in a different light.

And gosh, is it tough.  We take on a new challenge or are confronted with change – and sometimes our mind flips straight to the cons.  All of the negative thoughts fill our brains and we push away or ignore the positive ones.  Why are we so quick to jump to the negative?  So the point of today is to remember the positives in your life (which holds true especially in face of change politically and economically).  When things have gotten you down and you are feeling at a low point, have faith in the positive and that it’s not only there – but you can bring it forward and into your focus.  The power is all in you.

I’m assigning homework – for the next couple of days (or for your entire life if you can remember! It takes 21 days to forma habit…) at any time of day – remember and acknowledge at least one positive thing in your life in that moment.  Whether it be the company you keep, the lessons you are learning, or the fact that it excites you that they make mini snickers bars so perfectly sized.  Whatever it may be, find the positive of your day and let it excite you, envelope you, stimulate you…and make you smile.